Dear Anonymous: How To Get Over Someone You Never Actually Had

I don't usually get request for blogs, but this is one that I got a request for through email. I have a fan! That is pretty cool. If you like this blog and want to see more "advice like" blogs, I'd gladly do so!

"dear Jen, 

i love reading your blogs! i was wondering if you could help me but indirectly as a general blog. how do you get over someone you never dated? i was talking to this guy for 3 months but noting came of it. i liked him and he liked me. we just never went through with anything i guess. i am heartbroken and i dont know why. 

xoxo,

anonymous"

Well, Anonymous. Thank you for being my first emailed request blog for advice! This is actually really cool that someone wants advice and yet, I have no clue who you are. This is fun! So first off, let me say that I can relate. We all have those undefined things, as if real relationships weren't hard enough let us go ahead and add a plot twist of the undefined into the mix. You're not friends, you're not relationship. You're idk...just undefined. Sure, you might act like a couple and you have probably had the weird "I like you" sorta convo. right? I'm right. I usually am. And well, this is an advice blog...so its my opinion and I'm right. (Sassy Emoji) But it reaches a point when you realize you don't know what you actually mean to this person. With this realization comes a lot of confusion, and more likely than not you realize it just might be time to move on. But it's not like this is even a breakup. Feeling sad about the end of whatever-this-was may even feel silly. How can you be so upset about what technically never was?

There comes a point when you need to face your heartbreak head-on and move forward. It's not easy, and it's going to take time, but there are a few things to keep in mind in order to get over what could have been, but just didn't. First off, distract yourself in whatever ways possible. Not having anything to distract yourself from your aching heart makes it more likely that you'll try and get your almost-was back into your life, which would probably be an unhealthy option.

There was no official breakup, because you two were never an item, so where does that leave the both of you? Can you still be friends after all that you've been through together? Some say yes; others say absolutely no. I say it depends on each unique situation. Before you decide if you want to give friendship a go, I would recommend taking some time away from that person. Stop constantly looking at their Instagram, stop waiting for texts that probably won't come, and definitely stop trying to make things normal right away. Things aren't going to be the same as before, which is the point of the "breakup." Give it time! Take a step away and focus on yourself first.

And anonymous...most importantly, face the truth that this person was never truly yours and that things happen for a reason. This was your "almost," your "kind of," your "maybe in another life." You both obviously weren't ready for one another, in some aspect. Don't feel like you failed before you even entered the game. You got the experience, and that's something, right? And even if you end up in bed yet again with this person or whatevs, when you told yourself over and over that you were done, don't be too hard on yourself. I can promise you more people can relate than would ever admit.

Thanks for writing to me and inspiring this blog! I hope this gives you some tough love on how to get over someone you never actually had.