Chubby Chest Cheeks

Whining about having big boobs (or even decent sized ones) might sound like complaining your mansion is too big, but the truth is, big boobs aren't always all they're cracked up to be. It's basically impossible to keep up with the terminology used to exactly describe what part of a woman's breasts are visible to the world. And in todays society, boobs...are everywhere. Top boob, bottom boob, tig ol bitties, tatas, tittles, tataonsters. Seriously, boobs? They are out and about in the world. So you might as well learn about them. And if you don't know what words to use, how can you properly describe exactly which part of that part of you looked so phenomenal the last time you rocked it? In order to right that wrong, I've got them laid them all out for you here.

• Cleavage
• This usually allows for just a hint of that boulders below, but sometimes, a cup can runneth over. The word refers to the literal line between the two breasts that can occur if the boob owner is particularly well-endowed (tatonsters). Clevage is also known as "decolletage" by classy people and old men or just the generic frontboob.
• Innerboob
• When just the two inner sides of the breasts are visible, often with a peak at the bottom of the boobs. There is a clear separation between the two breasts – i.e. no cleave – and no bra is visible. 
• Sideboob
• Quite literally when the side of one's breast is revealed, but nothing more. 
• Underboob
• The under curvature of the boobs. Underboob is just the bottom part of the boob, with a little upper section revealed and no middle. Some call it bottom cleavage, but they are wrong and should feel wrong.

Being busty is actually a logistical nightmare, and never is that more true than in the summer. All across the winter your thick bra straps can comfortably hide under jumpers and long sleeved dresses. But as the sun comes out, so does our flesh, and those of us who are endowed up top begin three long months of suffering. Thought you could wear something that buttoned down the front? Fool. You will now spend the entire day pulling at the front of your shirt, worrying that the buttons are going to slip open and hoping that no-one can see through the gape between buttons. If you're really determined to wear a button down, you can invest in all sorts of gizmos to close the gap, but it's so much effort it kind of takes the shine of wearing a cute shirt dress.

Now, I know what my readers are wondering. "What in the hell is up with this blog? Why does she have to explain boobs." Well, the answer is...I don't really need to explain the simplicity of the boob. But, you know what I do need to explain? That it is ok for anyone to flaunt the boobs if they want to. Also, if you see a woman with the boob button hole, let her be. Boobs are boobs and sometimes it is hard to cover them up. Even if you try. Soooo what is the next big boob trend? Topboob? Full-on nipple boob? We're running out of breast space.