I'm “Intimidating”

If there is one phrase I'm tired of men(and women, but mostly men) dropping, it's, “You're intimidating.” Before I jump up on my soapbox and make myself even more “intimidating.” I’d rather you just tell me you're nervous because it's endearing. Here are some thangs you should know about the woman you keep calling “intimidating”:

She has an incredible story that will forever captivate your attention.

• One reason why relationships fail is that one or both parties find themselves bored and develop wandering eyes, ears and hands. Guess what: The person who slightly intimidates you is also the person who will constantly keep your attention. The story behind who she is and the elements you find so intimidating are what you will fall madly in love with. Her trials, tribulations, successes, the way she expresses herself, captivates an audience, works a room, shows compassion, stands her ground or maybe even how she writes. She's been through more than you can imagine and somehow, she came out with her head held high and a smile that's brighter than sunshine. She is exactly the type of woman you want on your arm because he can hold her own. Her story and character alone take the pressure off of you. You're intrigued, not intimidated. Stop being a punk.

She'll inspire you to be the best version of yourself. Stop here if you're done growing. If you're constantly trying to better yourself and embrace a higher quality of life, keep reading.

• The person who slightly intimidates you — because you admire her character, work ethic, strength, satire, step, drive, passion, etc. — will keep you on your toes and inspire you to be a better a person, leader, son, friend and partner. With her, you will strive for the 2.0 version of yourself. You will work harder, inspire more and feel deeper than ever before. Have you ever noticed how many quote junkies there are in the world? How many self-help success stories people feed on? They are great, but what if I said you could wake up next to that same inspiration every day by dating the person who inspires (aka intimidates you)? The world is full of “good catches” and natural born leaders. These people have a hard time settling down because they want to be pushed and challenged, but they don't think it can mutually exist with love. It can, and the same woman who intimidates you is likely intimidated by you, and for all the same reasons. So now, the two of you are just wasting time and talent. If you find a prospect who provides this, grab ahold and never let go. Wake up inspired. It's rare. It's also important that I differentiate between “slightly intimidating” and forced change (abuse). You want someone who inspires you with her loving, well-intentioned actions — not words or demands.

She doesn't need you; she wants you.

• Ms. Intimidation builds her own career, makes her own money, pays for her own way and carries her own bags. She has her own friends, hobbies, motivation and passions. She knows who she is and what she wants out of life. This is great news for you! You're not her babysitter, coach or father. You're her partner in crime. Clyde didn't have to drag Bonnie around. She showed up to ride or die on her own accord. Sometimes he even let her drive. Just saying. Please stop mistaking my not needing you for me not wanting you. The fact that I have all that going on and still want to make you my priority person should speak volumes. I can only speak for myself here, but I imagine it applies to others, too. 

She's pretty darn “normal.”

• The same woman you find intimidating is also really good at making the same raunchy jokes as you are. She'll crush you at Cards Against Humanity. She's clumsy and messy, can “man” a BBQ, yells at the TV for her team, enjoys downtime on the couch and eating junk food. Get this: She enjoys silence and downtime. That's right folks, we don't always talk. The same girl you're too afraid to talk to starts each morning with a kitchen dance party. Just her, the dog, a cup of coffee and the Top 40 getting down with her wet hair and makeup-free face. The same women who intimidate you have the same fears, hopes and dreams as you. They probably even snort when they laugh. They’re normal, so stop holding them to some level that intimidates you; you don't know her that way yet.

Give her a chance, and she'll give you a lifetime.

• Hearing, “You're intimidating,” directly from a man is not typically a one-time occurrence for me. The woman who has heard it once has likely heard it a thousand times. To counter this annoying statement, she likely has awesome friends and family who remind her, “You don't want a man who isn't confident enough to take you off the market." My point is, you're already winning if you're stepping up to bat. Women who intimidate you still have feelings and fairytale dreams; they just don't show all their cards on the first (or seventh) play. 
• They want love, they just don't plan on settling for it anytime soon. They respect themselves and their time, and the same goes for your time. They don't have time for games so they shoot straight, honestly and boldly. They are not rude, they are simply honest and too busy applying their talents to the creation of a great life. Everyone has talents, but it’s rare to have the courage to own and exercise them. Would you expect anything less of yourself? If not, why would you for the love of your life? If you find a woman who walks the talk and you feel like walking with her, do it. She will be floored. It will mean the world to her, and if anyone's loyalty is lasting, it's the intimidating one. She understands the value and cherishes it. The intimidating one will respect, admire and love you more than you could ever hope. Stop wasting time; buy her stock if you find her on the open market. Remember, if not you, someone else. And, no one likes having a life story about “The one who got away."