How to Get Over a Breakup Like A Boss Ass Lady Human
So. What do you picture when you hear about a break up? Well, on the womans side of things. (This is from a womans perspective blog…so.) Do you see women eating ice cream in bed crying after a breakup? Probably. Drinking wine? Yeah, sure…maybe. But to be honest…breakups are a blessing in disguise. In fact, there's no better time than after a huge heartbreak for a total life renovation. Ok ladies now let’s get in formation cause here are my tips for a boss ass woman to get over a boy.
- Either block or unfriend him on social media, because that will be the death of you. Maybe you assume you are a reasonable and mature lady-human who can handle seeing the occasional reminder of him on your Facebook timeline. SIKE! You don't want to seem like you care too much about the breakup, because you're so chill and you are proving that you are chill. You're so chill that your heart isn't beating. Right? Aaand, you're dead. But truthfully, during this stilted, awkward breaking-up period, it's hard to tell whether you'll be able to be friends or not. So. He has got to go. You're not admitting defeat by not staying friends with him.
- If you feel an impulse to get drunk alone, call some friends instead. It's the worst being alone and sad and drunk. At least be sad with people you love! We've all been heartbroken — it's not like your girls are going to judge you for drinking wine with dirty hair. And if you want to drunk-text, get your friend to take your phone away or throw it in a volcano. Drunk-texting an ex is a two-steps-forward-one-step-back slide down the rabbit hole. *CUE BLINK 182*
- Take baths. Baths are half wallowing and half cleansing/pampering, and thus are perfect for breakups. When's the last time you really filled up your tub (clean it first, please) and had a good soak with a glass (bottle) of wine? Showers are not for the recently dumped.
- Begin some kind of intense, rage-based workout routine. Maybe this isn't a good time for yoga! Maybe it's a good time for something new, like kickboxing. Really get some of that negative stuff out. Need a boxing class? I know a fellow shambly sister who can help. (That blog will come soon)
- Write him heartbroken letters and never send them. Get it all out, on paper, and you never send them. Because it wont be texting so you cant send by an accident, it wont be sent IRL because who sends mail via snail mail. And it wont be on social media for the world to see. (Airing your grievances on social media is not good for anyone, and it'll be embarrassing later.)
- You just ended a relationship and your heart flipped over and exploded like a tanker in a Terminator movie…IT IS OK TO CRY! Allow yourself to cry when you need to. Thus preventing a giant tidal wave of the feels later.
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