Journals to Jen; A Letter From Rational Me to Sad Me

So. You want to blog, but you don't know where to start? Here is my proposal! JOINT BLOGS! This new segment of blogs that I am going to start is called Journals to Jen. In this blog series, readers send in their own blog to jenhumston@gmail.com and I will post it! Well, as long as it is acceptable and I approve. Sometimes all you need is to write and store it somewhere. So, baby write this down. Take a little note and welcome to the first edition of J2J!

"A letter from rational me to sad me:

So you just got dumped. Only this wasn’t a normal break up, the one where you were only together for like a month and you just decided that you couldn’t stand his inability to show human emotion. This was the guy you thought you were going to marry. This was the guy you thought was your forever. He left you, and I know you’re lying there (probably on the floor) trying to make sense of it all.

STOP. Rational you is about to tell you everything you need to know. 

I know you’re devastated and you feel like your whole world just ended. That’s okay, you are allowed to feel that way. You thought you were going to be together forever, and he left. I know you’re sitting there blaming yourself, feeling like the most worthless human being on the planet, but that’s not why he left. You’ve been spending the last week thinking he didn’t love you, and that’s why he left, but that’s not true. He loved you enough to recognize the truth, the same truth you’ve been trying to deny this whole time. Part of you knew it wasn’t going to work, that you two just weren’t meant to be. That no matter how much you loved him or he loved you, sometimes love just isn’t enough. He loved you enough to do what you couldn’t, and to end a relationship that would only hurt you in the end. You should thank him for that. He was strong enough to know what was right and act on it when you were not. That’s the most selfless thing a person can do for you.

So go ahead and cry, you are allowed to feel. You are allowed to be sad that he’s gone and sad that you loved him and it didn’t work out. That’s okay. But stop trying to rationalize the idea that he’s coming back. He is not coming back. And that’s okay. In fact, that’s the best news you can hear right now. He’s not coming back because he knows this was the right choice. Honestly, he probably misses you like hell and is just as sad as you are. I mean, he should be, you are quite a catch. But he knows coming back would only hurt you both in the end, no matter how bad he (or you) might want to right now. You can miss him, he was a big part of your life. He was your first love. You can miss the feeling of his arms wrapping around you or the sound of him saying “I love you”. That’s normal. But also remember that you are going to do really amazing things, without him. God’s plan for you isn’t over yet; In fact, it’s just beginning.

Read this when you need it, when you feel like your world just stopped. Read this when he posts his first picture with someone new. Read this whenever you’re hurting and feel the urge to call him. He did the best thing he could’ve done for you; he left, because God knows you weren’t going to. This is how its supposed to be. What is meant to be will be. God might just have something better waiting around the corner, but you’ll never know until you let this go. I promise you will be okay.

Love,

The You who’s found her peace"