Yes, I am...
I have a lot of thoughts about relationships. (You may have picked that up by the nature of most of some of my blogs if you’ve been here a while.) And you’ll realize… I’m starkly single. And I’m fine with that. Not “fine” in the way people who are not fine say they’re fine. But truly, authentically fine. In fact, it seems as though everyone else is more concerned about my lack of a partner than I am—women’s magazines, my married friends, and, yes, the lady who does my nails when I get them done.
Now I know I am still young with plenty of time ahead of me. And I often feel like I’m in the twilight zone, looking around at everyone screaming, waving their arms above their heads as I’m all, "Hey, does anyone wanna talk about other cool things besides relationships?" So, to ward off the worried folk who behave as though being single is something to be cured—and fast!—I thought I’d make a list of reasons why I am single. Maybe some of you “singles” out there (sorry, had to) have felt this same way.
1. I like being single.
Yes, it’s true. (GASP!) There are a lot of things I really love about being unattached. The other day, actually, I pictured myself in a serious relationship and got panicked thinking of all of the things I would miss about my current life. I'm in college and I don't want to be tied down right now. This is not everyone’s story, but it’s mine. I like my independence and I like staying up late at night, lounging diagonally across my bed eating crackers.
2. Because it’s OK.
The thing I loathe most about the whole conversation is the idea that my satisfaction with my life and myself should be based off who is or isn’t in my bed or signed on my lease. What a disastrous way to approach life, actually. Happiness can be found when we learn to embrace reality. I am single because I am single and that’s what today looks like, so hell, that’s what I’m goin’ with.
Let me make clear that I completely understand (and empathize with) the fear, loneliness, and pain that can come from being without a partner. It can be especially brutal as we get older and our friends are married. I in no way want to diminish those feelings for any of you—I’ve been there. I’ve bitched to friends about how terrible men can be these days. And I’ll probably be there again—but I sort of hope not. I hope that as the conversation continues to mature and develop, we can see outside of a binary way of defining ourselves, and especially by whether or not we are in a relationship.
I hope I continue to appreciate how fulfilling my other relationships are. I hope that in my next relationship (if there is one), I don’t do to my single friends the well-intentioned things my coupled friends have done to me. I hope that we realize how many other fascinating things there are to know about a person other than who they call bae (or whom they refuse to call bae).
So there you have it, why I’m single? Because I don't need a man to make me complete.
1. I like being single.
Yes, it’s true. (GASP!) There are a lot of things I really love about being unattached. The other day, actually, I pictured myself in a serious relationship and got panicked thinking of all of the things I would miss about my current life. I'm in college and I don't want to be tied down right now. This is not everyone’s story, but it’s mine. I like my independence and I like staying up late at night, lounging diagonally across my bed eating crackers.
2. Because it’s OK.
The thing I loathe most about the whole conversation is the idea that my satisfaction with my life and myself should be based off who is or isn’t in my bed or signed on my lease. What a disastrous way to approach life, actually. Happiness can be found when we learn to embrace reality. I am single because I am single and that’s what today looks like, so hell, that’s what I’m goin’ with.
Let me make clear that I completely understand (and empathize with) the fear, loneliness, and pain that can come from being without a partner. It can be especially brutal as we get older and our friends are married. I in no way want to diminish those feelings for any of you—I’ve been there. I’ve bitched to friends about how terrible men can be these days. And I’ll probably be there again—but I sort of hope not. I hope that as the conversation continues to mature and develop, we can see outside of a binary way of defining ourselves, and especially by whether or not we are in a relationship.
I hope I continue to appreciate how fulfilling my other relationships are. I hope that in my next relationship (if there is one), I don’t do to my single friends the well-intentioned things my coupled friends have done to me. I hope that we realize how many other fascinating things there are to know about a person other than who they call bae (or whom they refuse to call bae).
So there you have it, why I’m single? Because I don't need a man to make me complete.
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