Self Care is NOT Selfish

There’s a reason why the friendly voice on the plane always tells you, in case of an emergency, put your own oxygen mask on first. If you save yourself, you have a chance of saving your family, your kids, the other people you’re travelling with. If you try to put the mask on them first, you’re going to pass out — possibly before you even get the mask on them.

There’s a fine line between being helpful, and dealing with other people’s problems because you don’t want to get started on your own. When you find someone whose problems are greater than your own, it lets you concentrate on things other than your problems, which you are not fixing because you  are not ready to grow up. So you procrastinate. And people find really strange ways to procrastinate. One of the ways they find to procrastinate is create other problems in their life that take precedent over the problem they’re avoiding.

It’s tempting just to immerse yourself at the socially-accepted escape of work, especially if you’re good at it and you get fulfilment from it. But sometimes, we make these problems for ourselves. We chase promotions, start businesses, and juggle multiple side projects in order to avoid the problems we really should be dealing with (but don’t want to). The ones that we really fear. The ones that we’re embarrassed or ashamed of. The ones that are the most important. The ones that actually run our life.

I understand on a soul level that I can’t give what I don’t have. It’s easier to spread joy, enthusiasm, and inspiration to your friends when you’re brimming with it. A wise friend once told me, "If it is not going to matter in five years, don't let it bother you for five minutes." With that, I plan on taking that and running with it. It's time I put on my oxygen mask first because I can't help others if I don't help myself. 

PS: You are not required to set yourself on fire to make sure other people are warm.