Being an Imposter
A while ago, I decided not to post this…but here we are. I told myself it wasn’t good enough. In actuality, I was just scared. Well, here it goes…
I was a fraud and everyone is about to find out. I feel like an impostor when I am not. Like I am a fraud and the whole world is going to figure the real me. This makes total sense for undercover agents. It doesn’t make so much sense for people like me who are trying to make the world a little better or just share their story. Sometimes I wake up in the morning before going off to a work, and I think, I can’t do this. I’m a fraud. Why? Because I was not accepting of myself. One of the most attractive qualities in a person is acceptance. Acceptance of themselves and acceptance of you. And I couldn’t even do that for myself.
I can’t be the only one who thinks this. The problem is only getting worse as more of us rely on our online presences. We’re in this weird culture where you’ve got to sell yourself aggressively while remaining “authentic”. You think you need to be perfect but you also need to feel free to fail. You need to be yourself and more! It’s all set up to make you feel like a fraud.
Usually I feel like a fraud when I think I’m more important than I am. When you feel like a fraud it’s in relation to some perfection that never actually existed. Letting go of some of your excess self-importance will go a long way in helping you feel less like a fake. And more importantly, accept that you have had some role in your successes. We feel like frauds because we are “unable to internalize our successes”. We were given an opportunity that others weren’t. And so nothing we achieve after that opportunity was actually deserved.
I usually feel like a fraud when I’m concerned about myself. What will they think of me? If I fail they’ll shun me. I don’t know as much as that other guy, I have no right to say anything on the topic. Blah blah blah. The fastest way to get over feeling like a fraud is to genuinely try to help someone else. This is hard because what if they hate you for it? What if they make fun of you for trying to help? What if your sincerity is smashed under the laughter of others? Then OUCH! That hurts bad. Not nearly as bad as it hurts to feel like a shell of yourself though. I remember the first time I wrote vulnerably. I had gone through severe depression and had benefitted from reading about others being depressed. I felt obligated to share my story. I did.
Stop comparing yourself to another person. When I compare myself to these others it’s easy to fall into the trap of “my life sucks compared to that life”. You might as well not even do anything! Your life isn’t the best life! You aren’t here to live the life of another person. You’re here to do whatever life you can. Turn Facebook off, get off Instagram, stop reading biographies of “successful” people and learn to respect your own experience. Limit your stress, you’re not a fraud, you’re just you. Expose yourself totally.
Remember: being wrong doesn’t make you a fake. The best baseball players don’t always hit homeruns. The best traders lose money on most trades. Presidents are wrong about stuff all the time. Losing is just part of the game. Don’t glorify failure, but don’t let it make you feel like you’re not a real contender either.
Realize that when you hold back you’re robbing the world. If you walk around feeling that you should be someone else or that you don’t deserve to be here then all your crappy vibes rub off on other people. Your stunted expression means that you can’t be there for people who need you.
I’ve been lucky to be surrounded by people who really accept me for who I am. To allow my true colors shine. I’m a goober. I’m a dork. I’m not always right. I get moody. I get controlling. I get stressed. I get overwhelmed. I have panic attacks. I have an adorkable personality. I sing absolutely terrible in car rides. I’m witty. I’m a lot to handle sometimes. I get the giggles, a lot. I have a sailor’s mouth at times. But most importantly, I’m Jen. And I no longer feel like a fraud or an imposter. I feel like, me. I’m 26 years old and I have discovered the dorky human being that I am and I am no longer an imposter.
I was a fraud and everyone is about to find out. I feel like an impostor when I am not. Like I am a fraud and the whole world is going to figure the real me. This makes total sense for undercover agents. It doesn’t make so much sense for people like me who are trying to make the world a little better or just share their story. Sometimes I wake up in the morning before going off to a work, and I think, I can’t do this. I’m a fraud. Why? Because I was not accepting of myself. One of the most attractive qualities in a person is acceptance. Acceptance of themselves and acceptance of you. And I couldn’t even do that for myself.
I can’t be the only one who thinks this. The problem is only getting worse as more of us rely on our online presences. We’re in this weird culture where you’ve got to sell yourself aggressively while remaining “authentic”. You think you need to be perfect but you also need to feel free to fail. You need to be yourself and more! It’s all set up to make you feel like a fraud.
Usually I feel like a fraud when I think I’m more important than I am. When you feel like a fraud it’s in relation to some perfection that never actually existed. Letting go of some of your excess self-importance will go a long way in helping you feel less like a fake. And more importantly, accept that you have had some role in your successes. We feel like frauds because we are “unable to internalize our successes”. We were given an opportunity that others weren’t. And so nothing we achieve after that opportunity was actually deserved.
I usually feel like a fraud when I’m concerned about myself. What will they think of me? If I fail they’ll shun me. I don’t know as much as that other guy, I have no right to say anything on the topic. Blah blah blah. The fastest way to get over feeling like a fraud is to genuinely try to help someone else. This is hard because what if they hate you for it? What if they make fun of you for trying to help? What if your sincerity is smashed under the laughter of others? Then OUCH! That hurts bad. Not nearly as bad as it hurts to feel like a shell of yourself though. I remember the first time I wrote vulnerably. I had gone through severe depression and had benefitted from reading about others being depressed. I felt obligated to share my story. I did.
Stop comparing yourself to another person. When I compare myself to these others it’s easy to fall into the trap of “my life sucks compared to that life”. You might as well not even do anything! Your life isn’t the best life! You aren’t here to live the life of another person. You’re here to do whatever life you can. Turn Facebook off, get off Instagram, stop reading biographies of “successful” people and learn to respect your own experience. Limit your stress, you’re not a fraud, you’re just you. Expose yourself totally.
Remember: being wrong doesn’t make you a fake. The best baseball players don’t always hit homeruns. The best traders lose money on most trades. Presidents are wrong about stuff all the time. Losing is just part of the game. Don’t glorify failure, but don’t let it make you feel like you’re not a real contender either.
Realize that when you hold back you’re robbing the world. If you walk around feeling that you should be someone else or that you don’t deserve to be here then all your crappy vibes rub off on other people. Your stunted expression means that you can’t be there for people who need you.
I’ve been lucky to be surrounded by people who really accept me for who I am. To allow my true colors shine. I’m a goober. I’m a dork. I’m not always right. I get moody. I get controlling. I get stressed. I get overwhelmed. I have panic attacks. I have an adorkable personality. I sing absolutely terrible in car rides. I’m witty. I’m a lot to handle sometimes. I get the giggles, a lot. I have a sailor’s mouth at times. But most importantly, I’m Jen. And I no longer feel like a fraud or an imposter. I feel like, me. I’m 26 years old and I have discovered the dorky human being that I am and I am no longer an imposter.
Comments