Dealing with things when they don't go as planned
This blog is written for personal use for the most part. I’m just going to write and see what comes out. Lately, I’ve been use to so many bad things happening to me that I no longer feel any emotion at all. I don’t cry. I just feel numb. So I have asked the inevitable question we’re all asked at some point in our life. Actually, it’s the question we’re asked at almost every point in our life, though it’s phrased differently at each point: the “what's next in life" question.
Every day, social media bombards us with announcements about engagements, weddings, babies, exciting travel plans and more. We hear about our friends who have been accepted into universities, received promotions at work or are building new houses. We see all the great things happening in their lives and we can begin to wonder if we messed up somewhere or have fallen behind.
Like a lot of people, I lived my early life on “autopilot”. I had quite a bit of drama mixed in, but still autopilot is the word. We come to understand that that if we do the right things, the next stage in life will come naturally. If we graduate kindergarten, we go to first grade, after middle school, we go to high school and so on. Life just progresses as expected. Did you think that to? Well, I have realized that something just don’t work out the way you plan it. Or even…work out at all.
Sooner or later we start just checking off the boxes on our life plan while subconsciously wishing away the present in eager anticipation for whatever comes next. This is exactly what I have been doing. I thought I’d attend college, work couple years, get married and settle down to have kids by the time 30 rolled around. Though, I may be in my early twenties…I am far behind on my own success list. BC college sucks sometimes.
My life is taking a very different path than I planned. Some of it is amazing and exciting: however, despite all the good things happening in my life, I found myself swimming in disillusionment. My longing to achieve the next target in life began to kill my ability to enjoy living life in the present. I simply couldn’t see that success and fulfillment in life are not measured by the number of milestones we check off a list imposed upon us by an intangible source. So I guess I just need to trash the milestone check list and start living purposefully in the present.
When things don’t go as planned and we find ourselves in the middle of disappointment, some common adages can sound pretty trite. We often hear things like: “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade” or “when one door closes another door opens.” It can be extremely difficult to hear those things while we wrestle with disappointing situations. This is because any option outside of what we originally hoped for can seem second rate to our initial desire. However, I am challenging myself to stop viewing all other paths as inferior. Until I walk down a path, I cannot fully comprehend the great possibilities opened to me when that original door closed.
The final thing I realized was that if my life hadn’t worked out the way I wanted it to, only I had the power to make a change. Sure some things are out of my control, but a lot of things aren’t, including my attitude. When you feel defeated, you act defeated. If you don’t see yourself doing bigger things, you never will. Cliche, cliche, cliche-- but it's true what they say: when you change, everything else around you begins to change.
Most importantly know this: sometimes things don’t work out the way you wanted it to. That’s okay. We are incredibly resilient as people. Pick yourself up, and try again. So if you are like me and you are in the in-between place and things are not progressing as expected, know that there is purpose and value in the season of waiting or trying something else.
Every day, social media bombards us with announcements about engagements, weddings, babies, exciting travel plans and more. We hear about our friends who have been accepted into universities, received promotions at work or are building new houses. We see all the great things happening in their lives and we can begin to wonder if we messed up somewhere or have fallen behind.
Like a lot of people, I lived my early life on “autopilot”. I had quite a bit of drama mixed in, but still autopilot is the word. We come to understand that that if we do the right things, the next stage in life will come naturally. If we graduate kindergarten, we go to first grade, after middle school, we go to high school and so on. Life just progresses as expected. Did you think that to? Well, I have realized that something just don’t work out the way you plan it. Or even…work out at all.
Sooner or later we start just checking off the boxes on our life plan while subconsciously wishing away the present in eager anticipation for whatever comes next. This is exactly what I have been doing. I thought I’d attend college, work couple years, get married and settle down to have kids by the time 30 rolled around. Though, I may be in my early twenties…I am far behind on my own success list. BC college sucks sometimes.
My life is taking a very different path than I planned. Some of it is amazing and exciting: however, despite all the good things happening in my life, I found myself swimming in disillusionment. My longing to achieve the next target in life began to kill my ability to enjoy living life in the present. I simply couldn’t see that success and fulfillment in life are not measured by the number of milestones we check off a list imposed upon us by an intangible source. So I guess I just need to trash the milestone check list and start living purposefully in the present.
When things don’t go as planned and we find ourselves in the middle of disappointment, some common adages can sound pretty trite. We often hear things like: “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade” or “when one door closes another door opens.” It can be extremely difficult to hear those things while we wrestle with disappointing situations. This is because any option outside of what we originally hoped for can seem second rate to our initial desire. However, I am challenging myself to stop viewing all other paths as inferior. Until I walk down a path, I cannot fully comprehend the great possibilities opened to me when that original door closed.
The final thing I realized was that if my life hadn’t worked out the way I wanted it to, only I had the power to make a change. Sure some things are out of my control, but a lot of things aren’t, including my attitude. When you feel defeated, you act defeated. If you don’t see yourself doing bigger things, you never will. Cliche, cliche, cliche-- but it's true what they say: when you change, everything else around you begins to change.
Most importantly know this: sometimes things don’t work out the way you wanted it to. That’s okay. We are incredibly resilient as people. Pick yourself up, and try again. So if you are like me and you are in the in-between place and things are not progressing as expected, know that there is purpose and value in the season of waiting or trying something else.
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