The truth is: life’s too short to have crappy friends
We are busy. We are balancing jobs, families, responsibilities, not to mention the crisis situations that life tends to throw our way. Our friendships can sometimes fall by the wayside. I am here to implore you to nurture your relationships with your girlfriends. You don’t have to have a lot of friends, you just need to have solid ones.
As we get older and our lives become full, friendships become crucial. Friends are like the whipped cream on top of a chocolate sundae. They make things tastier. And a little dollop of fresh homemade, quality whipped cream is always better than a mountain of the fake stuff.
I have been extremely blessed when it comes to the people that have been placed in my path. I have collected friends through different stages of life. I held tight to the ones that nurtured and strengthened me. I let go of the ones that didn’t.
My friends renew me. They help me stay young. They help me face the challenges of life with a strong stance. They soothe me when I am hurting. They minimize my need for therapy. We nudge one another out of our comfort zones and hold each other’s hands as we take the leap.
Truth is, life is too short to have crappy friends. In my case, it took a while to figure this out. It took some time for me to learn how to be discerning in whom I spent my precious time with. I had to learn to reserve my time and love for the people who showed they wanted and deserved it.
I have been extremely blessed when it comes to the people that have been placed in my path. I have collected friends through different stages of life. I held tight to the ones that nurtured and strengthened me. I let go of the ones that didn’t.
My friends renew me. They help me stay young. They help me face the challenges of life with a strong stance. They soothe me when I am hurting. They minimize my need for therapy. We nudge one another out of our comfort zones and hold each other’s hands as we take the leap.
Truth is, life is too short to have crappy friends. In my case, it took a while to figure this out. It took some time for me to learn how to be discerning in whom I spent my precious time with. I had to learn to reserve my time and love for the people who showed they wanted and deserved it.
What I have learned:
What I want:
A friend told me once that if we have five good friends we should consider ourselves lucky. I thought she was crazy. “I have a ton of friends,” I thought to myself. What I came to realize is that there are a lot of people in my life I enjoy being with, but the true friends, the ones who I could call at 1am, I can hold in one hand.
As a busy women like myself, it is important that we maintain friendships that lift us up. Friendships that make us feel joyful and valued. The key is deciding which ones to hold onto and to have the strength to let go of the ones that just weren’t meant to stay. Knowing what you want and what you value is a great first step in that direction.
- Not everyone’s definition of friendship is the same. Not everyone has the same expectations of friendship that I do. I want deep. I want wide. I want the good, the bad, and the ugly. I want real. I want raw. I had to accept that the people I wanted this connection from might not want the same.
- Everyone has their own “Things” in life they are dealing with that I may not know about. I will give someone a hall pass for bad friend behavior if they are dealing with “stuff.” But, it is important they communicate with me about what’s going on.
- It’s okay to end a friendship that isn’t working. I believe that quote about some people being in our lives only for a season. I have a hard time letting go but, I realize, sometimes I have to.
What I want:
- I want friends that listen as well as talk.
- I want friends that are reliable; not missing in action.
- I want friends that give as much as they take.
- I want friends with an optimistic outlook on life.
- Commitment: It is important to me that my friends know how I feel about them. I don’t ever want to leave someone guessing about my commitment to them. Likewise, I don’t want to be left wondering if my friend truly values our friendship.
- Communication: I need a shout out every so often. We don’t have to talk all the time. With the age of texting, it is really easy to take 30 seconds and let someone know you’re thinking about them. If I’m not worth 30 seconds, then it is time to reevaluate the relationship.
- Trust: I think this is a biggie in women’s relationships. Women talk about some pretty raw and honest issues and I don’t want to have to worry about judgment or if my business will be spread all over town.
- Honesty: I want friends to call me on my sh**. If I’m doing something lame, I want them to have the confidence in our friendship to tell me. Likewise, I want to be honest with my friends about how they are affecting me. It is important that the things that need to be said, get said.
- Fun: This is crucial. I want my friendships to be fun. I never want to take life too seriously. I need partners in crime who join me in seeking out joy.
A friend told me once that if we have five good friends we should consider ourselves lucky. I thought she was crazy. “I have a ton of friends,” I thought to myself. What I came to realize is that there are a lot of people in my life I enjoy being with, but the true friends, the ones who I could call at 1am, I can hold in one hand.
As a busy women like myself, it is important that we maintain friendships that lift us up. Friendships that make us feel joyful and valued. The key is deciding which ones to hold onto and to have the strength to let go of the ones that just weren’t meant to stay. Knowing what you want and what you value is a great first step in that direction.
Side note: I say this recently because I just lost a friend that I went to HS with. She was wonderful and I regret not choosing to stay in contact with her. RIP Val!
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