2017: My Anti-Resolution
This time of year makes everyone ponder change. A new year means a new beginning, a fresh start. I want to believe this, to buy into this idea that when the clock strikes twelve on New Year’s Eve your slate is immediately wiped clean, and all your transgressions from the previous year are forgiven. But really, what makes January 1st any different from the day before it? There’s no astronomical reason to celebrate New Year’s Day on January 1st.
2016 was a hard year for many, myself included. For me it was a year of change, not all of which was necessarily good. The dreamer in me wants to immerse myself in New Year’s resolutions, to believe that 2017 is somehow sentient and will hear my desperate prayers and be kind to me. I want to put all my faith into the dawn of the New Year, as though time isn’t continuous, as though when 2017 hits something in the air changes and allows me to be a different, less flawed person. A person who will make less mistakes. But regardless of the New Year, I’m still the same me. Same name, same birthday, same weight (well, plus or minus a few).
2016 was a terrible year for so many people not because the year itself chose to be terrible, but because people acted terribly, so why would 2017 be any different? The flaws that plagued me then still exist now; that doesn’t change. The only way that things get better is if I actively try to be better, not because the year is over, but because I JENuinely want to improve myself. Same with the rest of the world. And that can start any day of the year.
This is not to dismiss the idea of New Year’s resolutions as a whole – change is scary, and admitting that you are unhappy with your life or parts of yourself is hard. It takes courage to admit that you want to be better, and even more to take real steps to achieve that. When change is normalized, as it is with New Year’s resolutions, it gives people an easier way of taking the first steps. While it’s true that 2016 was a terrible year for many because of the actions of other people, and that doesn’t change just because more time has passed, the start of the new year gives people hope, and encourages them to treat each other more kindly.
For me, 2017 will be a different year. Not because it is not 2016 anymore, but treat each day like a new beginning. I’m going to focus on moving forward. Hard things happen, and it becomes so easy to dwell on them, to become overwhelmed by grief and stress and sadness and to not realize that every change has its positives.
Maybe the significance we set in it makes it different – maybe because we universally treat the new year as a fresh start it becomes as such??? I know that my problems won’t magically disappear when the clock strikes twelve, because this isn’t Cinderella. However, there’s some comfort in the connected-ness of that moment, of knowing that every person is experiencing the same feeling in that moment, as they look forward to their new opportunities – hope. Maybe I am still the same flawed person, regardless of what year it is.
Don’t get me wrong, resolutions are incredibly powerful tools and catalysts for some people, but I am not one of them at present. I can’t see myself as anyone other than who I am right now because there have been many moments over the course of my life when I didn’t know if I would be here, if I’d ever see this moment and this woman I am today. Instead of focusing on myself as deficient and deciding how many parts of myself I need to change, I choose to focus on seeing myself as I am.
2016 was a hard year for many, myself included. For me it was a year of change, not all of which was necessarily good. The dreamer in me wants to immerse myself in New Year’s resolutions, to believe that 2017 is somehow sentient and will hear my desperate prayers and be kind to me. I want to put all my faith into the dawn of the New Year, as though time isn’t continuous, as though when 2017 hits something in the air changes and allows me to be a different, less flawed person. A person who will make less mistakes. But regardless of the New Year, I’m still the same me. Same name, same birthday, same weight (well, plus or minus a few).
2016 was a terrible year for so many people not because the year itself chose to be terrible, but because people acted terribly, so why would 2017 be any different? The flaws that plagued me then still exist now; that doesn’t change. The only way that things get better is if I actively try to be better, not because the year is over, but because I JENuinely want to improve myself. Same with the rest of the world. And that can start any day of the year.
This is not to dismiss the idea of New Year’s resolutions as a whole – change is scary, and admitting that you are unhappy with your life or parts of yourself is hard. It takes courage to admit that you want to be better, and even more to take real steps to achieve that. When change is normalized, as it is with New Year’s resolutions, it gives people an easier way of taking the first steps. While it’s true that 2016 was a terrible year for many because of the actions of other people, and that doesn’t change just because more time has passed, the start of the new year gives people hope, and encourages them to treat each other more kindly.
For me, 2017 will be a different year. Not because it is not 2016 anymore, but treat each day like a new beginning. I’m going to focus on moving forward. Hard things happen, and it becomes so easy to dwell on them, to become overwhelmed by grief and stress and sadness and to not realize that every change has its positives.
Maybe the significance we set in it makes it different – maybe because we universally treat the new year as a fresh start it becomes as such??? I know that my problems won’t magically disappear when the clock strikes twelve, because this isn’t Cinderella. However, there’s some comfort in the connected-ness of that moment, of knowing that every person is experiencing the same feeling in that moment, as they look forward to their new opportunities – hope. Maybe I am still the same flawed person, regardless of what year it is.
Don’t get me wrong, resolutions are incredibly powerful tools and catalysts for some people, but I am not one of them at present. I can’t see myself as anyone other than who I am right now because there have been many moments over the course of my life when I didn’t know if I would be here, if I’d ever see this moment and this woman I am today. Instead of focusing on myself as deficient and deciding how many parts of myself I need to change, I choose to focus on seeing myself as I am.
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