Understanding Love Languages

Something I’ve heard about quite a bit lately is love language. There are 5 ways that people typically speak and understand love.

Words of affirmation
Verbal compliments, or words of appreciation, are powerful communicators of love. They are best expressed in simple, straightforward statements of affirmation, such as:

• "You look sharp in that suit."
• "Do you ever look incredible in that dress! Wow!”
• "You can always make me laugh."

I start with this love language because I connect with it the most. To me, possibly the deepest human need is the need to feel appreciated. Words of affirmation will meet that need in many individuals whether it’s friends, family, or a relationship.

Quality time

By "quality time," I mean giving someone your undivided attention. I don't mean sitting on the couch watching television together. When you spend time that way, Netflix or HBO has your attention — not your person. What I mean is sitting on the couch with the TV off, looking at each other and talking, devices put away, giving each other your undivided attention. It means taking a walk, just the two of you, or going out to eat and looking at each other and talking. Time is a precious commodity. We all have multiple demands on our time, yet each of us has the exact same hours in a day. We can make the most of those hours by committing some of them to the people you care most about.

Receiving gifts

Almost everything ever written on the subject of love indicates that at the heart of love is the spirit of giving. It sounds silly to actually describe, but a gift is something you can hold in your hand and say, "Look, he was thinking of me," or, "She remembered me." You must be thinking of someone to give him or her a gift. The gift itself is a symbol of that thought. It doesn't matter whether it costs money. What is important is that you thought of him or her or they. And it is not the thought implanted only in the mind that counts but the thought expressed in actually securing the gift and giving it as the expression of love.

Acts of service

By acts of service, I mean doing things you know someone would like you to do. You seek to please her by serving, to express your love by doing things. Consider actions such as cooking a meal, setting a table, emptying the dishwasher, vacuuming, changing the baby's diaper, picking up a prescription, keeping the car in operating condition — they are all acts of service. They require thought, planning, time, effort and energy. If done with a positive spirit, they are indeed expressions of love.

Physical touch

We have long known that physical touch is a way of communicating emotional love. Babies who are held, stroked and kissed develop a healthier emotional life than those who are left for long periods of time without physical contact.

Personally, I am a combination of many of these. I love spending time with the people I care about, I am a professional hype woman and will do anything to make my favorite people feel appreciated, and I really enjoy celebrating a person and showering them with gifts. What is your love language? Were you even aware that love languages existed? Understanding yourself can help you better understand others.