Social Isolation Hurts, Social Connection Heals
As humans, we strive to interact with others and the relationships we have with those closest to us help define us as people. So negative relationships ultimately equal negative feelings and a negative perception of ourselves. And with that, I introduce to you…when depression strikes in a quarantine.
Depression keeps itself alive with an intense, overwhelming sense of hopelessness. This hopelessness kills the motivation to reach into the world for support, something that is already fragile because of the stigma that is so often attached to mental illness.
If you’ve been a reader of mine for some time now, you know that depression is something I have struggled with before. Right now, I have many factors contributing to why I am feeling the way that I am and this is my way of validating my feelings. Some people may read this and think that it is very personal to put online but I take these opportunities to get things off of my chest and maybe somewhere out there someone can relate.
In January, I experienced a huge change in my life. I got my first apartment. Yes, at the age of 27 I moved out from living with my mother. Because for financial reasonings, health reasonings, and things I won’t share online it was finally time to do so. With moving on my own comes moving away from my dog. My Sassy. My best friend. Literally one of the greatest things to happen to me. So not only was I in a new environment and experiencing that type of change, but also started to develop more separation anxiety from my dog.
I take pride in how I look on the outside. I like fashion, having my hair done, a manicure, and for the love of all things good…my eyebrows NEED to be in good shape at all times. But that is all away from me during the global pandemic. It strips away a part of how I see myself which basically makes me think that I look like a thumb with a frizzy bird nest on top. (Thank you for those of you who continue to hype me up otherwise.) Am I holding up a sign outside of beauty salons demanding I be seen? No. But I can't wait to just "feel" like I look like Jen again.
In addition, my thyroid. Although they're separate diseases, depression is sometimes a symptom of hypothyroidism. That's when your thyroid gland doesn't make enough thyroid hormone and certainly right now it is not even getting a participation trophy in life right now because that is how “shitty” it really is having a thyroid disorder.
Now, to throw a global pandemic and coming off of seasonal depression into the mix? You can see there are many contributing factors to why I am just…here. Have you seen the movie Inside Out? Sadness, the character? That is me or at least how I am actually feeling.
As an extrovert, I get my energy from people and during this quarantine I have not been able to get that from people. I’ve learned that I can be overwhelmed with people very easily, but it is still where I get a lot of my energy from.
Social support plays a major role in achieving full mental health. But here lately, my current mental stage makes me feel I am not wanted or needed by anyone. That if I don’t get responses from someone that I did something wrong. That everyone hates me for some reason. And so I make up reasonings and scenarios in my own head and basically hurt my own feelings. I’ve also been feeling as if no one really knows or listens to me or wants to take the time to actually put in effort to get to know the real me. The little things about me.
Depression keeps itself alive with an intense, overwhelming sense of hopelessness. This hopelessness kills the motivation to reach into the world for support, something that is already fragile because of the stigma that is so often attached to mental illness.
If you’ve been a reader of mine for some time now, you know that depression is something I have struggled with before. Right now, I have many factors contributing to why I am feeling the way that I am and this is my way of validating my feelings. Some people may read this and think that it is very personal to put online but I take these opportunities to get things off of my chest and maybe somewhere out there someone can relate.
In January, I experienced a huge change in my life. I got my first apartment. Yes, at the age of 27 I moved out from living with my mother. Because for financial reasonings, health reasonings, and things I won’t share online it was finally time to do so. With moving on my own comes moving away from my dog. My Sassy. My best friend. Literally one of the greatest things to happen to me. So not only was I in a new environment and experiencing that type of change, but also started to develop more separation anxiety from my dog.
I take pride in how I look on the outside. I like fashion, having my hair done, a manicure, and for the love of all things good…my eyebrows NEED to be in good shape at all times. But that is all away from me during the global pandemic. It strips away a part of how I see myself which basically makes me think that I look like a thumb with a frizzy bird nest on top. (Thank you for those of you who continue to hype me up otherwise.) Am I holding up a sign outside of beauty salons demanding I be seen? No. But I can't wait to just "feel" like I look like Jen again.
In addition, my thyroid. Although they're separate diseases, depression is sometimes a symptom of hypothyroidism. That's when your thyroid gland doesn't make enough thyroid hormone and certainly right now it is not even getting a participation trophy in life right now because that is how “shitty” it really is having a thyroid disorder.
Now, to throw a global pandemic and coming off of seasonal depression into the mix? You can see there are many contributing factors to why I am just…here. Have you seen the movie Inside Out? Sadness, the character? That is me or at least how I am actually feeling.
As an extrovert, I get my energy from people and during this quarantine I have not been able to get that from people. I’ve learned that I can be overwhelmed with people very easily, but it is still where I get a lot of my energy from.
Social support plays a major role in achieving full mental health. But here lately, my current mental stage makes me feel I am not wanted or needed by anyone. That if I don’t get responses from someone that I did something wrong. That everyone hates me for some reason. And so I make up reasonings and scenarios in my own head and basically hurt my own feelings. I’ve also been feeling as if no one really knows or listens to me or wants to take the time to actually put in effort to get to know the real me. The little things about me.
One of the reasons that depression is so debilitating is because the core symptoms of depression make it hard to reach out for support or to keep up the for the way out. When they combine forces, lethargy, sadness, emptiness, and intense feelings of hopelessness put up a mighty push against even the strongest, bravest and most determined human spirit.
If you’re close to someone with depression, you might feel as though you’re not making a difference, but that’s what depression does – it’s the dirty little liar that tries to pull the fight out of all of us – those who experience this illness and those who care who would do anything to make it better for them.
There is no quick fix for depression, but there is great hope for healing. The fight is worth it – the capacity to flourish in life after depression is there. Depression, sadness, anxiety, and pain is a natural part of living, but having the grace to live with it, learn from it, experience it, and grow from it? That is the most powerful gift I can give myself right now.
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Kitty